Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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