i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
