I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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