hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
