Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize