atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my poor anus
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
