Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
this will be a night to untag.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
