it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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