If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
