my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
