hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
