dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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