problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize