if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
