My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize