if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
