Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
