Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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porn star boner night. come get it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
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I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Shame - the story of my life.
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