cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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