so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've blown a few things in my day
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I love having hate sex.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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