I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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