I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
