I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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