I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
