I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
