I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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