i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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