DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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