Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
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She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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