Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
