You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
