I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
