took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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