I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
