Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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