Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
