that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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