When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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