I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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