he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
