Where is the hickey?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
