Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
