I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
