So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
