I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
