life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
