i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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