im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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