Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
