Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
