Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ketchup is God's man juice
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
