Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
