iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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