some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it was like his penis was on wheels.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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