Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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