remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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