apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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