i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
They have beer where we have blood.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
