how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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