Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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