Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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