when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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