I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize