i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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