dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I look better un-naked...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
