Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
