How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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